i’ve been up all night composing and re-composing this post. every draft sucks. i have too much to say, no clear idea of how i want to say it, and right now, no time: i’m late to leave for a conference that will take me an hour to drive to, and we have flash floods predicted. but here goes.

s was right: twins.

and i was right: not.

we now get to add to our list of reproductive insanity a vanishing twin. only he’s not quite vanished: he’s still there in his own little sac filled with amniotic fluid, heart still beating. but like ruby (what is it with my kids and their damn strong hearts?) it was beating without pumping any blood. we watched the heart beat, oh-so-slowly, without making any sound. confirmation came when the ultrasound showed no blue and red splashes, indicating veins and arteries in action.

i’m not sad, which kind of surprises me. i’m very relieved. but i was also up all night thinking about this, so it’s obviously hit some emotional chord. i’ll be working this one out for a while, i think.

as for version 4.0: she looks great.

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