i had bloodwork done yesterday, and for some reason i was expecting beautiful, normal numbers when i got the report today. like maybe in the low 30s for my progesterone level, and somewhere in the teen-thousands for hcg. god knows where i got these expectations or what i was doing wasting my time with them.

my progesterone is a whopping 51.6. am i the only one to be scared by that number? i know the docsĀ like the progesterone levelĀ to be over 15 — with ruby i think it was 31 or so — but this? i find this bizarre. and bizarre, well, these days bizarre alarms me.

my beta hcg, on the other hand, is a sorry 2257.

now, no matter the online charts i frantically refer to, this number falls in the normal range. sometimes it’s at the low end; other times, it’s square in the middle. and i know — I KNOW — that the number is not nearly as important as its rate of increase. I KNOW THIS AND I DON’T CARE. for some reason, the fact that it’s not higher has me petrified. even though dr l says it’s perfectly fine and he’s very happy with it and i should just come back next week as we initially planned.

anybody want to wager how many hpts i waste between now and then?

aaaaaaarrrrrrrrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….