at least in our house. today is s’s one-year anniversary as a stay-at-home dad.

having s stay home with m was a pretty easy decision for us. while neither of us objects to day care outside of the home, i had not lifted my tuckus to bother to find any for m while i was on maternity leave (nor during my second trimester, when everybody recommends you do it, nor during my third trimester, when i was secretly hoping that s would decide that staying home was a good idea for him). while i was home for three months being lazy breastfeeding and changing diapers, s was at work hating it more, and more, and more. not that he doesn’t like working (any more than the rest of us) but he really hated the work he was doing. fortunately he was paid so well for it that keepin’ on keepin’ on seemed ok. but the pull of daddyhood won out. his last day at work was a friday; my first day back was the monday afterward.

we had big plans for his stay-at-home-dad-days. he and mairin got a slew of gifts to get them started on their big adventures: a membership to the children’s museum, m’s very own library card, a fixed-gear around-towner bike to hitch the bike trailer to, a notebook.

while m was having fun all day with her dad, s & i were having standard stay-at-home-mom convos all night:   i’m bored all day, and i feel guilty about it. i am dying for some adult conversation. sure the kid is cute, but can you please get her away from me for ten minutes? please?

and so s’s tenure is coming to a close. on a total fluke we found a spot for m at a local play-skool, one that’s walking distance from our house and has a massively-long waiting list that, given some bizarre combination of luck, timing, and magnificent planetary alignment we were able to completely avoid. her first day is dec 3.

and actually, i think it might work out really well for all of us. it’s time for m to play more regularly with other kids. (and, i guess, to catch all their nasty germies.) it’s time for s to be in a different daily psychological space. and, if things work out as we hope, s will be able to drop m off late-ish and i can pick her up early-ish, leaving both of us time alone with her but also time for ourselves. and then, after her bedtime, time we can spend together without wishing we were getting time to spend alone.